Taking a closer look at the loops and patterns our love life moves in, we help answer the age old question about your love life- are some of us just destined to end up with a broken heart!?

Q: Why do I keep hitting the same point, the same outcomes in love? Is heart break just my karma to bear?

A: Whether it be in matters of love, or otherwise, the subject of karma is as widely misunderstood as it is widely accepted. This is not a judgment of our actions and choices, or sentencing handed out between lifetimes to us. Instead, karma is a simple principle of balance, that calls on you to restore your energy to its original state of wholeness and harmony. New actions and choices undo the old, to release and even out what is due.

Think of karma like a knot that forms in your energy field.

Your actions and choices can reinforce your energy field, or they can bring it out of its natural state of flow and harmony- with itself and the Universe around it. When there is a movement away from harmony, it registers as a blip in your energy field, holding a different vibration than the surrounding energy. The intentions, emotions and thoughts behind these, lock into place and form this knot, anchoring your energy in this choice or action long after they are done.

It is your state of energy, therefore, and not the action per se that translates into karma. Hitting itself is not going to incur your karma, unless it is driven or accompanied by a disharmonious intention, thought or emotion- such as the abuse of power, fear, resistance to change, etc.

Further, this principle does not profess 'an eye for an eye' logic- which relies solely on the action to measure the outcome. When you go into a blip into your energy field, you are met with the emotions, thoughts and intentions that need to be released in order for the knot to be untangled, for the karma to be healed. Being abused when you have abused someone may not resolve the matter, and instead may create new karma through a whole new set of disharmonious energies you experience.

Instead, karma is best and truly resolved when you find yourself in the same situation as before, but make new choices and take different actions. It is when you choose to not hit or not abuse power- even if this option is still wide open to you- that the karma related to these can be undone. Your energy state must reflect this shift too- if you are still feeling the same emotions or thoughts as before- this balancing may be only partially achieved, even if you have shifted your outward choices and actions. A return to harmony is the key to releasing and resolving karma.

When it comes to love too, therefore, if you repeatedly find yourself running into the same situation- whether with a single partner, or a multitude of them- you may want to step back and reflect. Identifying the question or choice that life is leading you to over and over again can help understand the karma you are looking to release through this experience.

If this experience is heartbreak, what is the choice you are facing when experiencing this heartbreak? Are you caught in cycles of fear, or does this experience bring up deep, old anger for you? Is the heartbreak reinforcing existing biases and beliefs you hold, or is it amplifying your control issues? Understanding what heartbreak brings up for you can help unravel the karma associated with it.

You see heartbreak is the trigger, the experience to take you to the point of choice. It is not the karma itself, and it is definitely not some punishment for you to bear. Instead, heartbreak offers a doorway to karmic healing and release. So if you do find yourself running into the same roadblocks again and again in love, pay close attention to the thoughts, emotions and intentions that are triggered when they do emerge- they may well hold the key to putting heartbreak behind you!

Reflect & Refract is a chance to ask and delve into prevailing questions on spirituality, and the many ways it touches our lives and plans.